My Kids Stopped Telling Me How Their Days Went, Until I Began Asking This 1 Question

By Christina Margolis for

When my kids first began attending school, they were more than willing to tell me about their day. And I mean their entire day. I got an earful from them right at pickup, and I didn’t even have to ask them the obligatory after-school question: “How was your day?” I knew every little thing that happened while they were away, from what the letter of the day was to gossip about a classmate bringing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to school (gasp!). Of course, there were things I really didn’t need to know about, like that a boy picked his nose and wiped it on his desk, but it was nice that my children wanted to share all that happened during their day.

As my children got older, though, the details they gave about their day began getting shorter and shorter. Asking them “How was your day?” wasn’t getting me anywhere, either — because they would usually respond with a short “Fine.” What happened to the long-winded answers I used to get? And forget trying to get them to expand on their very nondescriptive answers and provide me with more details about their day. It genuinely felt like I was talking to a brick wall! And all of a sudden, I felt disconnected from my children . . . and that really hurt. I knew it was bound to start happening at some point, but I had assumed it would be when they were in middle school, not elementary school. I wasn’t ready!

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