This Is How To Be An Awesome Parent: 5 Expert Insights

January 13, 2026 Reading Kingdom

By Eric Barker

Here’s how to be an awesome parent…

  • First And Foremost: Whenever a kid totally loses it, acting like they just learned Santa Claus sold the North Pole to developers, ask yourself, “Are they hungry, tired, or overstimulated?” If so, address that first. Biology > Psychology.
  • Acknowledge Feelings: Showing you understand how they feel is how you go from being seen as a prison warden to a co-conspirator.
  • Be Playful: This is a tiny person who thinks cereal magically tastes better when eaten in a fort made out of couch cushions, right? So why not lean into the fantasies? “Oh no, your cup is so lonely! It misses its friends in the sink! If it stays here, it might cry!” You’ve just turned a mundane task into a touching reunion scene in a Pixar movie.
  • Offer A Choice: “Do you want to take Mr. Duck or the pirate boat into the tub?” Whatever makes them feel they have some choice, when really, this is more like a North Korean election: the outcome was never in doubt.
  • Problem-Solving: Acknowledge feelings, describe the problem, ask for ideas and pick the one that works for both of you. You’re not parenting anymore; you’re managing a very small, very demanding focus group.

And what simple wording changes can help you reduce conflict and get them to do what you need?

  • Give information instead of giving orders: Rather than saying “Don’t be so rough with the iPad!” go all NPR voice and try, “The iPad is very delicate; we need to be gentle with it.”
  • Use one-word reminders instead of lectures: Saying “Shirt” gets better results than screaming, “I’M NOT YOUR MAID!” And it’s less likely to make the neighbors call child services.
  • Say what you see instead of making demands: “I see a jacket on the floor” gets the point across without you coming across like Darth Vader.
  • Use “I” not “you”: Instead of saying, “You need to clean up your toys,” go with, “I’d like it if those toys were cleaned up.” See what you did there? You made it about you, not them. It’s not a demand; it’s just a wish.

Will the above work miracles? Of course not. There will still be tantrums, weird demands, and that one recurring argument over why they can’t wear a swimsuit to preschool in February.

Read the full article here

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