3 Simple Rituals That Will Make You A Fantastic Parent

You know how it goes. You want this little person to do the thing and they won’t do the thing and somehow zero-point-two-seconds later you’re in the midst of a tear-filled screaming match in the hair care aisle at CVS.

You start thinking about how your real kid may have been switched at birth for this pint-sized tyrant who seems bent on reenacting “The Omen” in public. And teenagers make you want to skip right past negotiating and just call an exorcist. Yes, you love them, but kids can drive you crazy.

Or… maybe we’re just working off a completely boneheaded paradigm when we deal with our children. I will now attempt to illustrate this point with a seemingly absurd scenario:

I’m with my fictional friend Hans. Hans only speaks German.

Me: Speak English.

Hans: (something in German)

Me: ENGLISH!

Hans: (something in German)

Me: Stop defying my will, Hans!

Hans: (shouts in German)

And on it goes. Who’s the idiot here? Me. Why? I’m acting like he’s willfully resisting me when the reality is that he simply doesn’t have the skills required to comply. No amount of me shouting, threatening or pleading is going to suddenly teach him to speak another language.

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